Diary 18 June 2016

Queen-Vic-underwear-THUMBUpton almost gets into Queen’s knickers

What would you do if you successfully bid for a pair of Queen Victoria’s knickers? This was a question U+I deputy chief executive Richard Upton found himself asking recently at a charity auction where he jumped at the chance to secure the pair of royal drawers. “I bid on the knickers,” he told Diary proudly this week, “which came with a pair of stockings too, by the way. I also bid on a stuffed giraffe head and a Roberts Radio. I got the radio. Which I didn’t really want.” Upton, known for his unusual taste in art, said that he was particularly disappointed to miss out on Queen Vic’s underwear because he had grand plans. “What would I have done with them?” he asked rhetorically. “Frame them? I think that would have been a waste. They were calling for a night out on the town…” Cue a long pause. “You know, when I think about it, I imagine they went to the right person.”

Beware Twitter feed of shame 

There are many check points for an asset manager of a shopping centre: make sure the toilets work, car parks are up to scratch, employees are happy, you are eco-friendly and people feel safe. Oh, and make sure that none of your shops end up on the @WHS_Carpet Twitter feed. Ellandi’s Mark Robinson drew attention to the feed of shame at EG’s fourth Retail Summit last week. It is where worn-down WHSmiths displaying signs of mess, clutter, or attempts to flog out-of-date chocolate get shamed. Other retailers beware too – there is also a guest appearance slot for tatty carpets and questionable retail displays for shops across the country.

Property’s Glastonbury

Berkeley Square has been rocking with the London Real Estate Forum, which was kicked off this week by Robert Davis of Westminster City Council, who said that the event was fast becoming “a kind of Glastonbury” for the property industry. “We all descend on a collection of temporary stages in the great outdoors for a short period during the summer. There are podiums packed with high-quality performances, refreshment will flow and the crowds may go wild with the quality of entertainment on display,” he proclaimed. Davis did, however, hope that the similarities stopped there and that delegates were not “passing the duchy” between acts. To be fair, conferences can be pretty intense.

House of missing cards

Is it easier to solve London’s housing crisis than get your own business cards? That was the light-hearted suggestion from new deputy mayor for London planning James Murray at a House of Commons shindig on 8 June. One week on, and Murray’s business cards still had not materialised. After a start dogged by u-turn claims over his boss Sadiq Khan’s pre-election housing promises, Murray is keen to make friends and win over developers. Better get those cards printed up quick, James.

Green seen at property bash

The great and good of the property world  were out in force at the Dorchester this week for a London Real Estate Forum dinner. Everyone including Sir Philip Green. While not formally invited to the event itself, the chairman of Arcadia Group was spotted arriving at the hotel before darting through the lobby and into a lift – security in tow. And all before Diary had the chance to wish him luck ahead of his select committee hearing the following morning.

Bear-faced cheek

John Barnett of auction house Barnett Ross is known for his love of gifting books. So it was no surprise when he presented the chair of the RICS auctions committee, Richard Auterac of Acuitus, with a tome to celebrate his tenure. For Auterac, Barnett picked How to Shit in the Woods, “a guide to the art of going out-of-doors… the whens, wheres, hows, and what-nows”. Auterac tells Diary: “I did indeed receive the enlightening tome with pleasure. I am looking forward to presenting JB with a similarly informative read concerning kettles giving pots advice on colourways.”